Lari knows my name

"Dadadadadadadada..... dadadadadada... dadada... DADAA!!!"
-Alaria

Packing at Dublin

"I thought it might fit in here with the lesbian picture, but Schofield was too big"
-Bethann

Mom spills it

"It looks like Michael and Andrea's marriage is over."
-Mom

It's a girl!

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
-Alaria

Bad Indeed

"Chris, I have some bad news..."
- Richard Fox

Nathan

"I think Nathan died."
-Bethann

Baby!

"I think there's a line there."
-Bethann
(date?)

Kids say the dumbest things, part III

Exam question:
What is the relationship between the level of education of women in a country and the fertility rate in that country? Explain the reasons behind this relationship.

Zack's answer:
"The relationship between the level of education women are given and the fertility rate in that country are the higher the education the more babies are going to be born per woman per yearm the higher that fertilitl rate will be, The reason of this is because, the woman have babies then their education gets better the higher the fertility rate increases. Each time the 1,000 babies per woman are born the fertility rate raises."

Kids say the dumbest things, part II

Exam Question:
What do we cal it when a species grows on another species with out harming it?

Jesse W writes:
"Annoying"


Test question:
Describe how a clam feeds.

Jesse writes:
The clam feeds bu using its pearl to attract prey. The fish see the pearl and try to get it, and the clam closes and eats the prey

WORST test answer of the day

Question: Describe three farming practices used at the organic farm we visitied. Explain how each method differs from large scale, non-organic “factory farming.” What is the benefit to the environment?

Julian's answer:

Farming practice #1:
Answer: One is by using animals to eat the pesticides. This will allow you not to put all of the extra chemicals in the soil. In the long fun this would not contaminate the soil. The benefit is that when the water makes the soil travel the other soil does not get contaminated.

another sad day

"This afternoon, Chris Horgan collapsed and died while shoveling snow on the tennis courts."
-Dan F.

Makin' me cranky

 Me: "Show me your DNA model."
Dave: "I helped make the one Connell has."
Me: "So tell me what the parts of it are."
Dave: " Umm... that's the DNA, and... those are the 1s and 2s..."
Me: " How is it that you helped construct it but don't know the structure?"
Connell: "He made the base."
---
Jesse: "This is my DNA." (holds up a line of molecular model beads looking nothing like DNA)
Me: "That doesn't look like DNA at all."
Jesse: "Yeah, but I did it."
---
Marissa: "That's one of those stupid things you say that nobody ever thinks in funny, only you."

Vance Gilbert is a funny guy

Oh Eliza Jane it was you and I

Holding hands, black and white

And looking like a Unitarian Christmas card

-Vance Gilbert 

Antonio is nuts

"Hi Chris,

I decided to write an exercice book that you and me will go making together. I send you today the first part. It was thought in order you practice spanish in a easy way and then you can practice the pronunciation with me. I decided to divide each lesson in three parts (Vocabulary, verbs and grammar) in order we can study a few things of each part at the same time. Do not worry if you don´t understand something, I will tell you when we talk.
I hope you like this way I am building for the first time and I hope it works (I promess I´ll do my best).
Talk to you soon,
Antonio."

 

Bethann loves her old passport

"Why do I have to send in the whole thing?" 
"Can't I just rip out the pages?"
"But I don't want to photocopy them."
"I can just put them all on one page."
"You can't even read them."
"I'll just let it go."

Whale puke

 "Seriously, last night me and Robin G. were talking about that and planning how we were going to make all kinds of money 
selling whale puke.  People pay a lot for that stuff, right?"
-David Lieberman

Maitner and Weis at comments

Maitner: "I wish xxx a restful and refreshing break."

Weis: "Well, I have something to say about that."

Nichole's sarcasm

"I love math especially
Algebra II, it really boosts
my confidence + I never feel
dumb."
~Nichole Jarz

Lights Out is at 11:00pm in Hoyt Horner Dorm

Drew: "Yeah, but that doesn't mean... I mean, you can have your desk light on, right?"

Unprofessional

Bethann: "I cried today."

I Miss the Shoals

Bold Fisherman

C G7 C / G7 / F C G7 C / F C G7 C

There was a bold fisherman who sailed out from Pimlico
To slew the wild codfish and the bold mackerel.
When he arrived off Pimlico, the stormy winds did wildly blow
His little boat went wibble, wobble, and over board sprang he.

G7 C G7 / G7 C /

Singing:
Twinki doodle dum, twinki doodle dum, twas the highly

interesting song he sung.
Twinki doodle dum, twinki doodle dum sang the bold fisherman.

He wriggled and scriggled in the water, so briny-O.
He yellowed and bellowed for help but in vain.
Then downward he did gently glide to the bottom of the silvery tide;
But previously to this he cried: "Fare the well Mar-i-Jane."

Singing: . . .

His ghost walked at midnight to the bedside of his Mar-i-Jane
He told her how dead he was; said she: "I'll go mad."
"Since my love he is so dead," said she, "All joy on earth has fled
for me."
"I never more will happy be.", and she went raving mad.

Singing: . . .

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Sung by Humphrey Bogart, deadpan, in "The African Queen".

Unpopular Teacher

Stephen: "I think you're a nice guy, Mr. Clauss, but some students think you're boring."

Mountain Day

15 minutes from the summit:
"Why did I do this?" -Nichole Jarz.

Me teaching Algebra...

"...they let me teach chemistry this year even though I don't really know anything about it" - Jonathan Weis

Stupid Freshman

(After watching salt dissolve in water)

"No, I don't think the salt does dissolve. It floats." -Darien

Whose idea was it to let me teach math?

Student: "Mr. Clauss, that's supposed to be a 9, not a 6."

Student: "Mr, Clauss, isn't hat 7 supposed to be a 3?"

Student: "That's not the answer I got for that question."

Drama

Char: "...hello, christopher..."

---

Me: "Is he going to bail again?"
B: "Looks like it."

---

B: "7 days are up."
...
Me: "...I don't like myself."

Post Surgery

"Smell my bellybutton." -Bethann
"No!" -Me

Gary's Lakehouse

Gary: "You zerbeted my foot once"

First Anniversary

The badge inside the card:
"I'm the BOSS!"

The card:
"You can give this back to me tomorrow."

I saw Mel and babysat 5 boys

Caleb Faust: "I leaked."

Caleb: "I got pee EVERYWHERE."

--
Tram: "After dinner I usually just put him in the kitchen dink and hose him off. He gets food all over."

Oren: "Know why I don't eat that? I don't like it."

My wife is funny

Bethann: "I got fired by my crack mom today."
---
Bethann: "Do you want to wash my face and brush my teeth for me?"
---

Me: "Is it worth it to own rental property?
Accountant: "I've been wondering the same thing lately."

Wasted trip

"Frankie bumped his head again."
-Client


Bethann: "Do you want to love me right now?"
Me: "What?"

Yesterday

Bethann: "Are you snooding?"
Christopher: "(sigh)... yes."